


Life goes on

by Owaranai



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Grief/Mourning, Introspection, Lemon, Sentimental, Slice of Life, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:48:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24269968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owaranai/pseuds/Owaranai
Summary: Konoha, one year after the end of the Fourth Shinobi World War.The story focuses on Shikaku and Shikamaru, with references also to the other characters of Naruto. Shikaku, survived the war with Inoichi, became a widower.But life, albeit with difficulty and suffering, goes on.What if a woman unexpectedly entered Shikaku's life?
Relationships: Nara Shikaku/Nara Yoshino, Nara Shikaku/Original Female Character(s), Nara Shikamaru/Temari
Comments: 11
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!
> 
> I have been publishing fanfictions on an Italian website for a few years, recently I decided to translate some of them.  
> I hope there are not too many English mistakes...
> 
> Enjoy!

  
  
  
  
A year had passed since the end of the Fourth Shinobi World War, and on that cool day in late winter, the whole Hidden Leaf Village had gathered in front of the monument erected in honor of the victims. After listening to the Sixth Hokage's speech and observing a few minutes of silence, the people returned to their homes.  
Shikamaru walked listlessly towards the cemetery. Once he arrived, he stopped in front of the tomb of Asuma for a few minutes, lighting a cigarette, after that he went straight to the family tomb. He turned his eyes to the sky and paused to contemplate the clouds that passed over his head, immersed in his thoughts. When he returned his eyes to the tombstone in front of him, he realized with slight surprise that his father was beside him with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. Red roses, her mother's favorites. He gently laid them on the grave next to Yoshino's name and both stood side by side staring at the void.  
  
  
  
(Flashback)  
  
  
  
The year before, when the situation was becoming more and more difficult and the war seemed imminent, Yoshino decided that she would return to join the ninja division, which she had abandoned several years before, after knowing she was pregnant. At the time, both she and Shikaku thought it was the best thing that their son had an ever-present figure, so they jointly agreed that Yoshino would retire from her job, focusing on raising their son. But when the war became an increasingly realistic prospect, aware that Shikamaru could now be considered a man and that one more hand in the village could only be helpful, Yoshino, without hearing reasons, decided to brush up on his uniform and her forehead cover and return to her ninja duties.  
During the final battle her group was in the hardest and most frenetic fight zone and, also because of the tiredness and the several enemies, after a valiant battle that cost the lives of numerous opposing, Yoshino expired. A few minutes later there was the blow that destroyed the headquarters where Shikaku and Inoichi were located, but fortunately, a few seconds earlier, most of the people present inside managed to evacuate from the central room, minimizing the number of victims. Despite this, both friends were seriously injured and needed a couple of months of treatment to fully recover.  
  
  
  
After the war, the situation was tough, both for the village and for the protagonists, each in his own way must face his own nightmares and mourners. Once Shikaku had returned home from the hospital, it seemed that the worst had passed but, in reality, being inside the same walls that he had shared with his wife until a few months earlier was even more difficult than expected. He wasn’t able to sit on the same sofa in the living room where he had previously shared so many memories with Yoshino, nor wasn’t he able to sleep in their bedroom, he had refused to enter in it, moving to one of the guest rooms next to Shikamaru's room. The young Nara was helplessly witnessing his father's agony, silently caring for him and trying to keep his pain for himself.  
After two more months, Shikaku had started working again as Hokage’s advisor, both because his village needed him and also to distract himself from his painful thoughts. It was decided that Shikamaru collaborated with his father, learning as much as possible about the working position, so once Naruto took over as Hokage, both Kakashi and Shikaku could enjoy some well-deserved rest, leaving the village in the hands of the new generation.  
  
  
  
One day, when his father was at work, Shikamaru, exasperated by the situation, sat on the sofa, in the place where his mother used to sit, looked at the various photos on the shelves next to the TV. A tear streaked one of the cheeks, followed by another one. He squeezed the pillow against his face, inhaling the light scent of his mother that still remained in it, and let himself go to a liberating cry. He didn't know how long it lasted, but he was so exhausted that he ended up falling asleep.  
He woke up when someone touched his shoulder: his father was in front of him with an apprehensive look, Shikamaru's red eyes and the still wet pillow left no doubt about what had happened. The boy ran a hand over his face, surprised that the sun had already fallen outside.  
The old ninja sat on the armchair in front of him, joined his hands in his classic contemplative pose and in a flat, barely whispered tone, he said:  
"Shikamaru, I think we need to talk"  
The boy remained silent, staring at his father, looking away immediately. Shikaku continued:  
“I am not good at putting my feelings into words, it’s not something we are taught in academia. On the contrary, we have to learn how to repress our emotions. But the time has come to tackle the issue. I loved your mother and I’ll love her till my last day. I always thought that I would be the first to leave, I could never have imagined that this would have happened. And now I find myself in this situation and I don’t know how to face it " he took a short pause, observed Shikamaru who continued to keep his gaze fixed on a point behind his father's shoulders.  
"Shikamaru" he said gently "look at me"  
The boy pushed back the tears, bit his lip and looked at his father, who started talking again.  
"I know, it's difficult to say, but we have to accept the fact that she is no more with us and go on, that's what she would like us to do, too"  
Then Shikamaru collected his thoughts and spoke:  
"I accepted the fact that she passed away, I don't accept that I feel so empty and sad"  
"I understand you, but it will be all right, we will overcome this too" Shikaku got up and, for the first time in those long months, he sat on the sofa, extending an arm around his son's shoulders.  
  
  
  
That same weekend, the two Nara faced the situation: Shikaku entered his bedroom and with a lump in his throat, together with Shikamaru, they emptied the wardrobe of Yoshino's clothes, donating most of them to charity, keeping only some of them, that aroused particular memories in them. They also collected the various objects belonging to the woman, who were scattered around the house, keeping only the most important in a corner of the bedroom, where they had decided to erect a small altar in his memory.  
  
  
  
From that day, despite Shikaku having moved to all effects in the guest bedroom, the situation in the house became more relaxed, father and son often had dinner together, most of the time with takeaway food since neither of them was very skilled in preparing food.  
Shikamaru started dating Temari, the two were very close and, since the main task of the girl was to deal with the relationship between the Leaf Village and the Sand Village, she was often traveling between the two villages, but once she arrived at Konoha, she could also stay there for several months due to her duties.  
About six months had passed since the end of the Great War, the two guys had been dating for a couple of months and their relationship was going great. Shikamaru was now 19 years old and he felt he was in a point of his life where he wanted to be independent, so he talked about it with his father and, with his approval, he decided to move in a small apartment in the center of the town, which he shared with Temari whenever she was in the village, making their relationship official with friends and relatives.  
  
  
  
(End flashback)  
  
  
  
Everything was going on peacefully, the days went on quietly, until Shikaku, in front of the family grave, decided that it was time to talk to Shikamaru, informing him on the latest news.  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

  
  
  
  
The two Nara were still immersed in silence, contemplating the headstone in front of them, lost in their thoughts. It was Shikaku who broke the silence.  
"Shikamaru, are you busy now?"  
"No, I’ll wait for Temari to finish working to have dinner together, but there are still a couple of hours left, why?"  
“Would you like to come home with me? I'd like to talk to you about something"  
Shikamaru followed his father to the Nara residence smoking his cigarette. They entered the kitchen and Shikaku prepared some tea, after that they sat facing each other sipping the drink in complete silence. After a few minutes Shikamaru said:  
"Did you want to talk to me about something?"  
Shikaku drew a long sigh, looking away.  
"Actually yes, but I don't know where to start or how to tell you"  
At those words the boy was alarmed:  
"Did something serious happen?"  
Shikaku hurriedly raised his hands to calm his son.  
"No, nothing tragic, I just don't know how you can react to the news and I'm worried about it"  
"Dad, stop turning around it, just spit the toad"  
Shikaku took a long breath then spoke:  
"All right. I ... ehm ... for about a month and a half now ..." then added in one breath:  
"I'm seeing someone"  
Shikamaru blinked a few times bewildered, not sure if he understood correctly. The father stared at him, almost holding his breath.  
"Are you ... dating a woman?"  
"Yes, even if it is nothing serious at the moment, but I thought it was correct to tell you, I don’t want you one day to enter the house and find her in front of you without knowing who she is"  
Shikamaru's expression on those last words changed:  
"Wait, does this mean you brought her here? In the house where you lived with your wife, my mother, for so many years?!" those last words came out almost screaming, without he being able to control them.  
His father looked down feeling guilty, but then he decided to firmly supported his son look by replying:  
"What would you like me to do? Spending the rest of my life alone regretting your mother? I will love Yoshino forever and no one will ever be able to replace her, but since I met this person, I feel good, I feel less alone. I will not allow you to judge me"  
Hearing that Shikamaru felt deeply sorry and cursed himself for speaking without thinking. He understood what his father meant and had no right to intrude or react like he just did.  
"You are right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that, I guess I just need some time to get used to the idea"  
A small and tired smile appeared on his father's face.  
"Thanks. As I said, is nothing serious, I really like spending time with her and she is a very nice person but I am not yet ready to let others know or introduce her to you. I just wanted you to know of her existence"  
"Okay, thanks for telling me"  
"Shikamaru, there is another thing you should know about her ..." Shikaku hesitated and looked at his son's questioning expression, then continued:  
"Her name is Aya, and she's about your age"  
At those words Shikamaru almost chocking with the tea he was drinking, began to cough, spitting the liquid on the table around him.  
"What?"  
Shikaku tried to justify himself:  
“It wasn't a planned thing! It simply happened! She is 23 years old, but she is very mature and intelligent"  
"But you still have 18 years of difference, it could be your daughter!"  
Shikaku shook his head.  
"Do not rub it in, believe me, I was concerned about this, too"  
The two stared at each other for endless minutes, each lost in his thoughts, when Shikamaru looked at the clock: it was getting late and Temari was waiting for him. He quickly said goodbye to his father, with the promise that they would return to the topic soon, and ran home.  
  
  
  
When the young Nara came back home, he found Temari in front of the stove, intent on preparing dinner. He hugged her from behind, which left the girl surprised. She turned in his embrace kissing him lightly on the lips, then asked:  
"Everything okay?"  
"I had an absurd conversation with my father"  
Temari looked at him questioningly raising an eyebrow, urging him to go into detail.  
"My father invited me to his house and with the excuse of having tea he informed me that he is dating a woman"  
"I think it’s a good news, he should go on with his life, right?"  
“Yes, after all. But as soon as I heard about it, I was shocked, I had not yet thought about this eventuality. I got carried away by the situation and I did not react very well, but then thinking about it calmly we were able to talk about it "  
"And?" Temari urged him.  
"And that's when he dropped the bomb, saying that the person he's dating is 23 years old"  
Temari looked at him surprised and he continued:  
"I mean, do you understand? My father is 41 years old; she could be his daughter! she is only 3 years older than you. Would you see yourself dating a man twice your age?"  
Without waiting for an answer he continued:  
"If we respect the age difference, it’s as if I, that I’m now 19, go out with a person 18 years younger, a 1 year old girl! Can you imagine it?"  
Shikamaru grabbed his head in his hands, disconsolate. Paradoxically Temari found that scene funny.  
“Shikamaru, you are now exaggerating, creating these absurd situations. There is a big difference between being 19 and 1 and being 23 and 41. They are both adult and your father is a conscientious person. If he is okay with such a situation, it means that this girl is very mature"  
“That's what he said too. Well, we'll see ... maybe I'm tying my head for nothing, after all he repeated more than once that there is nothing serious between them"  
With this thought in mind, the two dined quietly, after which they curled up on the sofa watching a TV series.  
  
  
  
It was early in the morning, Shikamaru woke up dazed, the conversation he had the day before with his father came back abruptly to his mind. He turned to his left and spent few minutes watching Temari still sleeping deeply. The girl was given his back to the boy, Shikamaru stretched over her and his gaze ran over her face, lingered on the long dark eyelashes and continued towards the small nose and then descended on her beautiful lips. He traced the outlines by touching them with the fingertips and then continued along the neck. He felt Temari shiver and move slightly, he immediately withdrew but continued to observe her figure.  
She was wearing one of his black T-shirt, too big for him too, which reached her thighs. The blanket was laying abandoned on the corner of the bed, and the boy could glimpse the red lace of her underwear, the same panties that she had worn a few weeks before and that he had found himself taking them off at the beginning of what had been a night of unbridled sex. At that thought, chills ran down his back and the blood began to flow fast in his veins, going to concentrate in his lower abdomen.  
Slowly he reached out a hand touching the border of her panties. Temari this time turned around changing position, now her back was on the mattress and her eyes were trying to get used to the light that filtered through the curtains.  
Shikamaru leaned towards her, reaching her lips and putting through vehemently his tongue into her mouth. The blonde was pleasantly surprised and indulged the boy. He stretched his hands down, insinuating them under the shirt and running through the flat stomach of the girl until he came to grasp her round and full breasts. A slight moan escaped from her mouth, and she grabbed Shikamaru's shirt removing it and throwing it over the bed. The two stared at each other for a moment, then he took off her t-shirt leaving her only with her panties on and taking a few seconds to observe her. It often happened, on those occasions of intimacy, that Shikamaru took his time to observe his girlfriend, but for her every time was like the first one and a slight embarrassment always went to dye tenuously purple her cheeks. Shikamaru bent down to lick one of the woman's breasts as his boxers got tighter. She moaned, stretching out in an attempt to reach Shikamaru's underwear with one hand. He began to bite slowly her other breast, pressing the index finger on her wet panties and moving it in a circle. Temari threw her head back in pleasure, she indulged in it a few minutes but then everything stopped suddenly. Shikamaru was now at his limit, so he took off the boxers with a single movement throwing them on the floor, followed immediately after by the lace panties. He took a condom from the bedside table and, after putting it on quickly, penetrated the girl with a single fluid push. Both of them gave a sigh and immediately afterwards Shikamaru started to move, followed by Temari who met rhythmically his movements. The embrace continued several minutes, until Temari detached his back from the mattress sitting down, pushed Shikamaru back without much grace, and once he was laying, she climbed on top of him, impaling herself on his length, starting to ride him with increasing speed. The boy grabbed Temari’s tights with strength, and she put her hands on his muscular pectorals. They increased more the speed and the rhythm, up to when he indulged in an intense orgasm followed by her moans. They both lay down on the bed looking at the ceiling and holding hands.  
Another day had begun.  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

  
  
  
  
Shikamaru turned over in bed after the wonderful sex he had with his partner, holding Temari even closer to him. It was Sunday morning and neither of them had any particular commitments. They stayed in bed for a while cuddling, after that they got up taking a quick shower and then having breakfast. They decided to go to Shikaku’s place, there were too many things that Shikamaru wanted to know: how did his father meet that girl? How was her?  
He made his way to the Nara estate with Temari; having her by his side would have helped him face the situation. Shikamaru had kept a copy of the house keys even after moving, so he could come back whenever he wanted without needing to knock. He opened the door and went to the living room followed by Temari shouting a "Dad!". They found him outside on the veranda, intent on reading a book in the light morning sun. Shikaku seemed surprised to find them both there, Temari greeted him with a smile and took a seat on one of the veranda chairs. Shikamaru went to sit next to his father, who spoke:  
"Good morning, what do I owe your visit to?"  
"Hi dad! I informed Temari about what you told me yesterday"  
Shikaku looked at Temari, who showed him a slight encouraging smile. Then his son continued:  
"We talked about it and it made me think a lot, we believe that if this person makes you happy, then we can only be happy for you"  
Hearing that words, Shikaku gave a relieved smile to both.  
"Thanks, I am very pleased to know that you think this way"  
"Dad, we would like to know more about her... What kind of person is she? How did you two met?"  
Shikaku imagined that sooner or later that questions would come, so he put the book down and settled himself better on the chair, starting to speak:  
"Okay, okay. Let's start from the beginning. The first time I met her was about three months ago. It was Saturday afternoon, I went out for lunch with Choza and Inoichi and in the afternoon I went with the latter to Konoha park, we sat at one of the tables and started playing shogi. After a couple of hours, Inoichi left and I stayed there collecting the various pieces on the board. After a while, a girl came up, sat in front of me saying that she had watched me play with my friend and, since she did not know the game, she asked me to teach her"  
"That's all?" Shikamaru asked, while Temari motioned him to shut up.  
"What did you expect?" replied his father, then continuing the story:  
“We simply introduced ourselves and I started to explain the rules of the game. Since it got late, we met in the same place the next day, I brought her a couple of books anout the game and I finished explaining the various rules. I told her that after reading the books we could have done the first test game, then we started talking about everything and anything. She told me that she had recently moved to the village, she graduated in literature and works for the main publishing house in Konoha as editor, and every now and then she also publishes some articles for the newspaper managed by the same publishing house. And I told him a little about myself, my work, things that have happened in the last year ... she is an excellent listener, I feel very comfortable talking to her. She is very thoughtful and always seems to know what to say. She loves reading very much, as you will have understood from her work, she also loves walking in the nature and cooking" Shikaku paused for a short while looking at the garden in front of him.  
“After that day we met on the following Saturday and had the first shogi game. To my surprise she did very well, she had already memorized all the rules and responded well to my moves. Since then we have met at the park every weekend to play and chat"  
Temari interrupted him:  
“Do you see her today too? In that case we would not want to disturb"  
To which Shikaku replied:  
"Don't worry, she's working on a big project to present next week, so she's really busy right now"  
Shikamaru spoke:  
"So you just started seeing each other to play shogi, how ... uh ... did things evolve?"  
Shikaku pondered his son's question for few seconds, carefully choosing the words.  
"It was about a month and a half after our meeting. We were in the park as usual; it was slightly cloudy but nothing seemed to indicate that soon would have rain. When the rain started to fall, we got up to leave. I was about to say goodbye and headed home when the light rain turned into a downpour. She suggested to go to her apartment, that was nearby, so, without thinking much about it, I followed her. When we arrived, we were both soaking wet, so she gave me a couple of towels and she went to change her clothes, then she made some tea"  
Shikaku's cheeks began to be tinged with a slight blush, the two young ninja, naively, not imagining where the story would go, hung from his lips. 'Quick and painless' he thought, so he added:  
"And nothing, then it was all pretty fast and confused, basically we jumped into each other arms and you can imagine how it turned out"  
"Dad!" Shikamaru shouted in shock. Temari raised her hands to her face hiding a laugh.  
"You wanted to know the story and I satisfied you" the man justified himself.  
"Is there anything else you would like to know?"  
"No thanks, after this I don't want to know anything more" replied the son spicy.  
But then Shikaku added:  
"You know, she is teaching me how to cook"  
At that statement the other two exchanged a look, Shikaku continued:  
“We often cook together. Actually, she cooks, and she is very good at it, I just look at her and she is trying to teach me to do something simple, so I avoid eating frozen foods every day. And we talk a lot, about everything. She also talks to me about her work, and sometimes she reads books to me, mainly her favorites or the ones she's working on. She has a really nice voice; I could spend hours listening to her or discussing the most insignificant things with her"  
Shikaku paused, watching a bird fly away in the sky, with a slight smile on his absorbed face. The two guys looked each other in the eyes, understanding how much the man was actually interested in this woman.  
"Dad, you told me more than once that it's nothing serious, but from how you talk about her, it doesn't seem to me"  
“Son, I like her, but I don't love her, this are two different things. And I'm sure she would say the same. We are comfortable with each other but we live it day by day. Neither of us, for different reasons, is ready to commit seriously and, if I have to be honest, I prefer to be like this "  
The speech was getting serious, and it was now lunchtime, so Temari and Shikamaru invited Shikaku to join them by going to eat a ramen and he accepted willingly.  
  
  
  
Later that afternoon, Shikaku was walking aimlessly through the streets of Konoha. He was thinking back to the conversation with his son and his girlfriend, and he could not feel satisfied for his son reaction and acceptance. He turned left and continued straight towards the Konoha park, that was full of families and children who played happily. He sat at one of the tables in the picnic area, shaded by some secular trees, realizing how that table was the same where, for the first time, he met Aya. His thoughts went back to that rainy day, when the spark had burst between them, giving the start to their relationship.  
  
  
  
(Flashback)  
  
  
  
Shikaku was in Aya's living room, trying to dry himself with the towel she gave him. He looked around carefully, observing the bewildering multitude of books scattered almost everywhere in the room, which was also used as a study. There were two big bookcases full of volumes and a solid wood desk full of sheets, files and notes. The flow of his thoughts was interrupted by the girl who returned to the room after changing her wet clothes. She went to the kitchen to prepare hot tea for both of them.  
The ninja blinked a few times, continuing to observe her from his position while preparing tea. She was wearing more comfortable and informal clothing. A pair of black leggings and a sweater, so wide that uncovered most of the left shoulder. She no longer wore the thick pair of glasses, and her hair, always gathered in a bun, fell shiny and flowing on his back, almost arriving at the girl's butt. Shikaku was astounded by their length. His gaze lingered a second too long on his lower back, well-marked by the pants that wrap her right there. An accelerated beat led him to the realization of what he had so far ignored. The girl in front of him, who he had till that moment considered as a person to spend time playing shogi with and talking quietly, had revealed herself for who she really was: a woman. A beautiful woman.  
His beats speed up and the blood began to flow quickly into his veins. He was so immersed in his thoughts that he did not notice that the girl had joined him and was offering him a steaming cup.  
She invited him to sit at the dining table located under the arch that divided the living room from the kitchen and took a seat next to him.  
"Everything good?" Aya asked, bringing him back to reality.  
"Ah ... yes" he replayed slightly embarrassed, starting to sip the drink.  
They remained silent for few minutes. Then it all happened so rapidly, that the man was unable to recall clear and precise memories to his mind. Everything was so blurred and confused: the girl approached him, he stood up in front of her, a few centimeters away. Their hands touched, their breaths became shorter and faster. The eyes chained into each other, their lips ever closer, until a light contact, which light the spark that turns one into the other's arms. Lips and tongues chasing each other, clothes began to pour on the floor. Her hands dragged him along the corridor and towards the bedroom. He felt the softness of the mattress under him. The excitement began to grow more and more. And then finally the thrusts, frenzied, damp, hot, which followed each other guide by instinct, at an ever-increasing rate. And finally, the pleasure, pure and sublime.  
After endless minutes lying naked next to each other, Aya sat up, turned her head towards the man looking for his gaze, which however was not found. The girl then gently touched the man's hand whispering:  
"Everything okay?"  
Shikaku then seemed to awaken from his numbness.  
"I don't know" he admitted.  
At that words, Aya seemed to understand. During their previous meetings Shikaku had often spoken about his wife and the girl had sensed the strong bond that still united them.  
"Do you feel guilty towards your wife?" she asked whispering, looking down regretful. Adding:  
"Sorry, I let myself be carried away"  
At those words Shikaku sat up facing her:  
"You don't have to apologize, we both did it"  
A long silence followed, interrupted this time by Shikaku who, perplexed, found himself asking the following question:  
"Aya ... how old are you?"  
The girl stared into his eyes immediately understanding where the man meant with that question. She laughs loudly, reassuring him immediately afterwards:  
"Don’t worry, I am of age, I am 23 years old"  
The man let out a slight sigh, lying down again on the mattress. However, after a few seconds he opened his eyes wide, sitting up again and looking around. The girl gazed at him questioningly.  
"Oh my God! I have been so stupid! I was so distracted by the situation that I didn't even realize I hadn't used a condom!"  
"Don't worry, I take the pill, and I can assure you that I have no venereal disease, I hope the same applies to you"  
The man, slightly displaced, nodded.  
"Maybe I'd better go" he added, starting to gathered his clothes. Aya quickly put a pair of panties and a sweater on.  
"Shikaku, wait, can we talk about it for a moment as adults?"  
The ninja nodded, he finished dressing and headed towards the kitchen. They sat down at the table, after that the girl spoke first.  
“I want to be extremely clear with you. I'm not looking for a relationship at the moment. I recently moved here to the village and I basically have no friends. But with you I feel comfortable and I would not bear that what happened today ruined everything. So, my proposal ... First option: let's pretend that all this has never happened and continue to see each other as friend at the park. Second option: honestly, having sex with you was good. I know you are still very close to your wife, but if you feel up to it, we could continue to see each other both outside and in the bed"  
She spoke in one breath, occasionally glancing nervously at the man who sat opposite to her with an indecipherable look.  
Shikaku was quite surprised by the evolving situation and he took a few minutes to reflect. He had been good that afternoon, too. For the first time in a long time he had forgotten, even if only briefly, the constant and painful thought of his wife. How did this make him feel? Guilty? Yes and no. He loved his wife and knew he would continue to do it, but the fact that the girl was offering him such a free and unconstrained relationship attracted him a lot. He had been alone for more than ten months, without the human warmth of a woman beside him, and although he claimed that this was not a problem, he had had proof that day that he was unable to give it up completely. He was trying to convince himself that his wife would have understood it, too, if the roles had been reversed, he certainly would not have wanted Yoshino to spend the rest of her life alone regretting the past. He gave a loud sigh, after which he returned to focus on the figure in front of him taking the floor:  
“I like spending my time with you and I had a good time today. If you are willing to accept the fact that the most important woman in my life is and will always be my wife, that's fine with me"  
The girl was about to reply when he preceded her:  
"Another thing, though ... don't you think the age difference is too big?"  
“No, it's not a problem for me, it's just a number on the paper, it's not the first thing I look at in a person. Is that a problem for you?"  
"I don't know ... I don't think so itself, but, you know, people could talk about it badly. Many people will not understand, nor will they try to do it, drawing their own conclusions" Shikaku reflected, scratching the back of his neck.  
"I don't care what people think, and then nobody said they should find out"  
"Okay, you're right ..." he left the Shikaku sentence on hold.  
"But?"  
"But nothing. I was just thinking that I wouldn't feel comfortable with my son in hiding something like that from him"  
“Okay, let's do this: we give ourselves a month to see if this thing can work, after which we decide how to proceed. And to answer what you said before: no, it doesn't bother me the presence of your late wife" the girl cut short.  
"Okay, we can do this way" Shikaku agreed, placing his hand on the woman's.  
That was how they started affair.  
  
  
  
(End flashback)  
  
  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

  
The days followed one another calmly; Shikamaru no longer raised the topic with his father, having had all the necessary information after their last conversation. The work for the Hokage took up most of his time. As if that were not enough Shikaku and the most important members of his clan had decided that, as the next heir, he would begin to actively take part in the clan meetings.   
Temari was in Suna that week, and during a clan meeting Shikamaru was asked to retrieve some documents and get them to his father as soon as possible. Now, with the file in his hands, he was in the streets of Konoha, headed to the Nara estate. When he arrived in front of the entrance, seeing the kitchen lights on, he used his key and entered. Just before he reached the kitchen, he called his father:   
"Dad, I brought the documents you n-" when he looked out the kitchen door the words died in his throat. Indeed, sitting at the table, there was not his father, but a girl, whom he had never seen before. He was disoriented, when she spoke:   
"Hi, you must be Shikamaru, I am Aya" she said simply, with a warm smile to illuminate her face.   
Shikamaru composed himself, hesitantly approached shaking her hand.   
"Sorry if I entered without knocking ... I was looking for my father"  
“Don’t be sorry, it’s your house after all. Shikaku is now at the grocery store, he asked me to have dinner together, but he forgot the fridge is empty… "she said laughing, then added:   
"He should come back soon"  
"Don't worry, I just have to leave this for him" he put the file on the table and approached the door to leave.  
"Shikamaru" called Aya "are you in a hurry? Why don't you sit down for a few minutes?"  
The young man reluctantly took a seat at the head of the table.  
"How are you?" she asked smiling.  
The question left the boy disoriented.  
"Fine, thanks. You?"  
"I’m fine. I'm going straight to the point. Your father told me he informed you about us ... is there anything you would like to know from me?"  
Shikamaru was surprised at the girl's words, so direct and open, and decided to play the same game:  
"I would like to know what are your intentions with my father"  
“No intention. We met by chance and I feel well with him. We are on the same page"  
"That's all?"  
"Yes, I'm not looking for a boyfriend or husband, if that's what you're worried about" she said candidly.  
"No. I mean, actually I don't know what worries me, I find it just strange. I have never seen my father with any other woman except my mother, and since he says he is not involved in anything serious I was wondering what your position was"  
"As I said before, we are on the same page. I like spending time with him and I'm not looking for a serious relationship, so the fact that he still loves your mother doesn’t bother me"  
Shikamaru was about to reply when the front door opened. Shikaku entered the kitchen and was paralyzed when he noticed his son’s presence. Aya approached him taking the shopping bags saying:   
"Shikamaru came here to leave you some documents, we were having a chitchat while waiting for you"   
Shikaku moved his gaze from the woman to the son, who said:   
"Well, it’s time for me to leave"   
"How is Temari?" Shikaku asked, trying to earn some time and changing the subject, watching carefully for any reaction to that situation in the expression of his son.   
“She left for Suna yesterday, she will come back at the end of the week"   
Aya then intruded:   
“So are you home alone? Do you want to stop for dinner?"   
"Yes, come on, let's eat together" Shikaku supported her, so that Shikamaru could not help but sit down again.   
The old man began to organize the grocery, while the woman began to cook. The boy watched them silently. He took a few moments to study Aya: to be a woman she was quite tall, almost as tall as his father, she had a slender physique with very long legs and, he could not help but notice, a prosperous breast. Her eyes were large, of a very dark brown shade and covered with a pair of glasses with a thick black frame. The light brown hair was gathered in a tail, but they seemed to be very long. The nose was proportionate and the lips were quite fleshy. Shikamaru had to admit it, she was really a beautiful girl and, if he hadn't already known her age, probably because of her bearing, he would have given her a few more years. His thoughts were interrupted when Aya spoke to him:  
"Do you have any preferences? Is there something you don't eat?"  
"No, everything is fine"  
"Perfect!”  
Shikamaru offered to set the table while Aya was cooking and her father tried to help her by clumsily cutting the vegetables. After a while they sat down and ate talking normally about their day. There was a nice atmosphere and Shikamaru could not help thinking nostalgically about the meals prepared by his mother.

"I think it went well" Shikaku said to Aya once his son was gone.  
"Yes, he's a good boy, he looks a lot like you"  
Shikaku approached the woman who was washing the dishes, intertwined her waist from behind and giving her moist kisses on the neck. She leaned back, getting carried away by the moment, while the wet plate in her hand dripped on the floor. Neither of them noticed it, until Shikaku took it out of her hand putting it on the shelf. Aya rolled over in his embrace and when he put his hands on her hips, she took the opportunity to hoist herself and encircle his pelvis with her legs. In this position, the two stumbled across the living room through the kitchen, until the man fell without kindness on the armchair. The girl, sitting on top of him, captured his lips in another hectic kiss, while he started unbutton the girl's blouse.   
She slipped her hands under the jonin’s uniform, tousching the man's pectoral muscles up to the nipples, which she squeezed slightly between her fingertips, causing a groan in the ninja. He immediately raised her skirt over her hips, lowering her panties just enough to insert a couple of fingers inside her. The girl sighed, resting her forehead on the man's.   
"Aren't you even in the mood to take my clothes off?" Aya teased him.   
"Not today" he replied, and removed his fingers from her now wet intimacy to focus on the removal of his pants, lifting the girl weight to make them drop down his legs together with the boxers. She took the erection in her hand, starting slow vertical movements, staring at the man’s face, but after a few moments he immobilized her hands, lifting her up again and pushing himself needily inside her in one move.   
At the very beginning of their affair, Shikaku used to take his time while doing sex. To Aya looked like the man was trying to impress every small detail in his minds, fulling enjoying the moment and loosing himself in the sensation that followed. On the contrary, Aya was more a woman of action, she liked to cut to the chase, skipping most of the foreplay or touching. Shikaku had learned that, and sometimes he satisfied her, like that day.  
As soon as he entered her, he began pushing himself with ardor. The thrusts followed each other frantically for several minutes, helped by the pelvis movements of the woman. Shikaku clawed her butt more vehemently, while she was scratching his shoulder, continuing trusting him inside her with increasing intensity. Rough moans came out of both mouths, he closed his eyes focusing on the growlingly pleasure. After several more pushing, she bit one of his shoulder, hugging him more tightly, until the apex that culminated with a liberating groan from both of them.   
A long kiss followed. When they broke away Shikaku came out of her, lifted her up and took her to the guest room, which had now become his bedroom, ready to go to sleep.

Now that Shikamaru had met Aya, he had relaxed, she looked not having ulterior motives to hang out with his father. He walked the streets of Konoha when, in a corner, on the side of the road, he saw Ino and Sai exchange deep kisses.  
"Oh please, take a room!" he screamed making fun of them.  
"Sai is leaving on a mission, I'm saying goodbye" Ino said, continuing kissing her boyfriend. Shortly after Sai volatilized, and Ino took Shikamaru by the arm and dragged him to the bar where Choji was waiting for her.  
It had been a few weeks since the trio, engaged in various commitments, had not met. The two friends turned their eyes to the genius asking if there was any news. Shikamaru stared at his hands, unsure of the answer. He knew his father was very reserved about Aya and had no idea if Choza and Inoichi were aware of his new relationship. He lost himself a few seconds too much in this reflection, making Ino guess that, actually, there was something.   
‘Here we are’ Shikamaru thought ‘Now she will stress me until I tell her everything’ he thought, so he opted for the solution that brought him less problems: he admitted that his father was dating someone, omitting the details and asking the two friends to keep the secret.  
They stayed at the bar until late at night, drinking and informing each other about the various news: Ino and Sai were looking for an apartment to move in together, whereas Choji had finally had the courage to ask Karui to go out, and the next day they would have their second date.  
When Shikamaru returned home he abandoned himself on the bed, but immediately before falling asleep he realized something.   
"Damn it!" he swore. He had not considered that the promise that his friends had made not to say anything to anyone was not valid within the family. Surely the following day Choza and Inoichi would have been informed and it would have been a problem if his father had not yet informed them.   
'Mendokusai!'


	5. Chapter 5

  
As Shikamaru had predicted, the two friends immediately told everything to their parents.   
Choza and Inoichi met that morning: Shikaku had made them understand that something was happening, but he had never gone into details, neither had he admitted it openly. Therefore, they decided to face him to try to understand the situation.   
When Shikaku left work that afternoon, his two teammates were waiting for him in front of the Hokage building. With their arms crossed, they stared at him.   
"Hey, guys! How are you doing?"   
"Here we ask the questions! follow us" answered Inoichi seriously, not admitting replies.   
They passed in front of the flower shop, greeting Ino who followed them with her gaze, as they headed towards the upper floor, where Inoichi lived with his daughter.   
"Sit down, we have to talk" the blonde man invited him.   
"What is happening?" the genius replied, understanding even less.   
Choza then spoke:   
"Shikaku, we have come to know that you are dating someone"   
Shikaku looked at them gasping, he was about to ask from who they had known, when he realized it and screamed:  
"Shikamaru!" then hurriedly added:  
"I can explain"  
"The only thing that interests us is why we didn't know it from you" added Inoichi. Shikaku sighed.  
"Honestly? I don't know either ... at the beginning I felt guilty towards Yoshino, telling someone would have made everything more real. But then I thought about it a lot, things were going well between us, and I couldn't keep it hidden it from Shikamaru anymore, and I was going to tell you too"   
"Dude, we're happy for you and we don't think you should feel guilty about your wife, I'm sure she wouldn't want to see you spend the rest of your life alone" Choza replied sympathetically.   
Inoichi also smiled, supporting his friend's response.   
"So, you two really have nothing to complain about?" Shikaku asked incredulously "not even about the age difference?"   
"What age difference?" the two asked in chorus, looking questioningly at each other.   
Shikaku was perplexed.   
"Didn't Shikamaru told you?"   
"Shikamaru just told Ino and Choji that you were dating someone, but as far as we know he didn't add much more ... what is this about?"   
"Nothing special, forget about it" he merely answered, trying to sneak out the door.   
Choza took him by the collar of his jacket and pulling him back, forcing the genius to sit down again. He now felt up against the wall, so he reluctantly admitted:   
"The person I'm dating ... is a 23 year old girl"   
After a few seconds of silence Shikaku looked up, meeting Inoichi’s face: his jaw almost touched the table, and seeing that he hastened to add:   
"I can’t help it! It just happened!"  
He told them in detail how they had met, supporting his reasons. In the end the friends seemed to accept the situation but with some reserves. He then asked them to keep the secret.

Shikaku came out of his friend's house, breathing a sigh of relief. He felt relieved to have talked to them, he really hoped that they would keep the story for themselves, not for particular reasons, but simply because he was a reserved person and did not want become a source of gossip among the entire village.  
It was late in the afternoon, so he headed to Aya's house. The girl had left him a copy of the keys just in case, but in general he always knocked on the door, and rarely entered if she was not there. That day the woman had just arrived home after a long day at work, one of the novels she was working on had been definitively approved and now she was holding the first printed copy with a radiant smile. They sat on the sofa and Shikaku asked her to read a few pages for him. He loved the sound of her voice, he would listen to it for hours, so he leaned his head against the back of the sofa and narrowed his eyes allowing himself to be carried away by the reading.   
After about fifteen minutes, having finished reading the first chapter, Aya caught his attention by gently running a hand through his hair.  
"How did your day go?" she asked, giving him a soft kiss on the lips.   
"You can't imagine" was the vague answer "apparently Shikamaru met his friends, Choji and Ino last night, and he told them about us and they immediately ran to tell their fathers, my two best friends" he pouted.   
"How did they react?" asked the girl.   
"After all well, but that's not the point, I didn't want they to know about it from other people"  
“I understand, but at least nothing get wrong"   
"Yeah" agreed the ninja, then added curiously :  
"Can I ask you a personal question?"   
The girl seemed to be gotten blind-sided.   
"Okay… but I can't assure you that I will answer"   
Shikaku gave a slight snort starting to speak:   
"You once told me that you are not seeking love. We have never talked about it thoroughly, but I spontaneously ask myself why"   
"You know I don't like talking about myself”  
"I know" Shikaku agreed, continuing to stare into her eyes. The gaze was so penetrating that she felt almost obliged to say something.   
“Just know that I didn't have a nice childhood. Ever since I was a teenager I lived alone, I keep moving from one village to another. I don’t know how to explain it, but I always feel like I am in the wrong place, like I am looking for something, but I don't understand what it is. Simply after a little time spent in the same place, I start to feel the environment around me tight, as if suffocating me. I don't connect with other people, either because I'm not capable of it or because I don't have to explain anything to anyone. And I don't look for love because I don't think I am able to love and, honestly, I don't even think I deserve it" she said in one breath staring at the floor.   
Shikaku leaned over to her, gently grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. Her eyes were slightly moist, betraying her feelings, but no tears ran down her face. The man could not help but hug her and hold her tight.   
“Sorry, I shouldn't have meddling. But I can't help thinking two things" he said in his analytical way of analyzing facts. He moved away from the woman looking into her eyes:   
“First thing: it's not true that you don't know how to connect with people, I wouldn't be able to define specifically what you and I have, but it is certainly a connection. Second thing: you say you are looking for something, but at the same time you say you don't want love. My question is: isn't it that you're maybe looking for love?"   
As he finished speaking, Aya stared at him gaspingly not knowing how to reply. Before she could say anything, he preceded her:   
"Just promise me one thing: whatever happens, promise me that you will not disappear from the village without leaving a trace" Aya nodded silently.  
After that conversation, the air in the house was thick and oppressing. They decide to go for a walk.   
The girl walked in front of him, who followed her without losing sight of her, with his hands in his pockets. They arrived at the gates of the village, and turned taking an uphill road through the woods, which led to a hill from which they could see the whole village. Once in the wood, Aya slowed down, until she was joined by the man, who reached out taking the smaller and more delicate hand of the girl in his and squeezing it tightly. They walked in silence for a good half hour, lulled by the light noise of wild animals. When they reached the top, they sat on the lawn contemplating the horizon.   
Aya loved those moments of silence when she had him next to her. She would have stayed there forever enjoying the sunset, everyone lost in their thoughts.

Later that night they had dinner together at Aya’s place and they played shogi before going to bed.  
Aya brushed her teeth, taking off her clothes. She was wearing only her panties and a large shirt that Shikaku had lent her. She slipped under the blanket, giving his back to the still empty seat on her left. When Shikaku joined her, she scooped up behind her, wrapping her waist with one arm.   
Feeling the man pressed behind her back turned her jets on, so she tried to make Shikaku understand her intentions without speak any words. She began to press her butt against the lower parts of the man, starting to rub against it with slow movements. She soon heard a slight moan and realized with satisfaction that something was starting to harden in the ninja’s boxers. Shikaku then slipped his hands under the fabric that wrapped around the girl's torso, slowly rising them and beginning to torment her breasts. A hand soon left one of the nipples to creep into her panties and begin to torture her clitoris. The girl tried to suppress a groan, then brought her left hand behind her in search of the boxer elastic. She moved it and slipped under it, wrapping the man's penis in a firm grip, teasing the chapel with circular movements of the thumb. Shikaku grunted, clutching one of her breasts even harder. The temperature was starting to warm up, so the man pushed the blanket aside making it fall to the side. Then he moved his hand and helped her to get rid of the clothes, which were thrown loose on the sides of the bed, followed closely by those of the ninja.   
Maintaining the same positions as before Shikaku raised her left leg slightly, holding the penis and guiding it inside her. The thrusts began slowly at first, steadily increasing the rhythm. Shikaku lifted her leg more, so as to push deeper inside her, while with the other free hand he grabbed her neck, forcing the woman to turn to the side to bring their tongues together. He broke off the kiss to focus on the increasingly frantic and irregular pushes. Aya grab Shikaku’s butt cheek inviting him to push harder, moaning in pleasure. The Shinobi’s left hand ran across the girl’s chest, proceeding between her legs and stopping over her clit, stimulating it with circular movements. That action, together with the uncontrolled increase in the pushes made the girl clawed at his side, letting out a long moan, a sign that she had now reached orgasm. A few more pushes and the man poured into her, sinking his neck into her inner shoulder and stood still for a few minutes to catch his breath.   
When they broke away, Aya turned around, bringing the blanket back on and snuggling on his chest.  
"Good night"  
"Night Aya" Shikaku replied kissing her on the forehead.


	6. Chapter 6

  
The days and weeks followed one another in the village, spring had already arrived and with it the blooming of flowers of thousands of colors. Aya was sitting on the veranda, sipping coffee and enjoying the sun while reading a book. Shikaku was sitting next to her, checking some work papers.   
Aya got up to bring the empty cup back to the kitchen and at that moment the bell rang. Shikaku opened the door, in front of him his son, with little Mirai in his arms and a pink backpack on his shoulders, said breathlessly:   
"Dad, sorry for the intrusion, but I knew today you had the day off. Kurenai asked me to look after Mirai this morning since she will be out of town until evening, but I have just been asked to take part in a mission outside the village gates and I don't know where to leave her"   
"Don’t worry, it’s not a problem" Shikaku replied, picking up the girl and adding "something serious happened?"  
“I'm not sure, there seems to have been an accident at the dam east of Konoha and some people have been injured. I'll be back as soon as possible"   
"Okay, be careful!"   
His father did not have time to finish the sentence that the young man had already vanished. Shikaku returned inside the house, closing the door behind him and giving Mirai a big smile.   
"Ehm ..." Aya was coming out of the kitchen and she cleared her voice:  
"Did I miss something?" she said, looking first at the child and then at the man, who made immediately the introductions:   
"This is Mirai, the daughter of Kurenai and Shikamaru’s sensei, I told you about them" then turning to the baby girl, who was already two years old, added:   
"Mirai, this is Aya, my friend"   
"Hi, princess!" said Aya, smiling at her and caressing her hand.  
"Good. Now what do we do?" Shikaku asked himself.   
Mirai had spent some times with the ninja in the past and often, especially when she was younger, Shikaku had found himself helping Shikamaru take care of her, so she was now calm and relaxed in the presence of the couple. She tried to say a few words in a bad way, suggesting that she wanted his backpack. Shikaku then opened it and they examined the contents together: there was a deer-shaped puppet, Shikamaru birthday present, a booklet with colored drawings, a change of clothes and a sketchbook with pencils. She sat down on the living room carpet and began to pull everything out, followed by the gaze of the two adults.

The morning had passed fast, they had lunch together and now the baby girl was beginning to show the first signs of sleepiness. She curled up on the sofa, resting her head on Aya's side and insistently asking her to read the book. The woman satisfied her, and after a few minutes Mirai fell asleep quietly. While the ninja was observing the scene, he was interrupted by a knock on the door: a low-level ninja his collaborator informed him that the situation at the dam had become serious, part of the structure had collapsed flooding the valley, where there were the houses of a dozens of families. Many people were injured and some were missing. All the shinobi available was needed to repair the structure and remedy the situation before nightfall. Shikaku was therefore forced to leave Aya and Mirai alone, apologizing for the inconvenience.   
“Don't worry, I'll take care of her. Be careful" Aya greeted him, closing the door behind him and covering the Mirai with a blanket.

Late that afternoon the situation at the dam had come back under control. The missing people had been recovered and transported to the hospital together with the injured, luckily there had been no victims, and now the situation was calm. All the ninjas involved in the rescue were now in one of the rooms of the Hokage palace together with him to take stock of the situation and compile the reports.   
At some point, Kurenai arrived running out of breath. As soon as she saw Shikamaru ran towards him:  
"Shikamaru! I went to your house but nobody was there, one of your neighbors told me you were on a mission. Where's Mirai? "   
"Don't worry, I left her with my father, she's fine" replied the boy trying to calm her down. Kurenai had recovered from her partner's death, but had established a very strong bond with the child and, despite trusting Shikamaru, whenever she was dealing with her daughter, she easily gets panicked.   
"But I saw your father out here a little while ago!" she replied almost screaming.  
At that moment Shikaku entered, just returned from the dam.   
"Dad!" Shikamaru shouted “I didn't know you were called to intervene too; I didn't see you today afternoons at the dam. Where did you leave Mirai? "   
"Don't worry, I asked Aya to look after her and she accepted without problems"   
Kurenai frowned giving voice to her doubts:   
“And who is this person? I know her? Can we trust her?" she asked in one breath at the edge of the hysterical. Shikaku felt compelled to calm her down by providing explanations:   
“Aya is ... a friend. I mean, we're kind of dating. But you don't have to worry, the three of us spent the morning together and Mirai seems to like to be in her company"   
The woman then breathed a sigh of relief, following Shikaku out of the room, who in the meantime had offered to accompany her home to take the daughter back.  
All the present had not missed that dialogues, and now they exchanged inquiring glances.   
Naruto approached Shikamaru circumspect and whispered:   
"So, now you have a stepmother?"   
Shikamaru covered his face with one hand and avoided replying, when suddenly his gaze fell on the person who was standing next to the Hokage and who was now looking at him thoughtfully: Ensui Nara had not missed a word that came from the mouth of the chief clan and now he had the duty to report the information to the other Nara members.

Shikaku stopped outside the front door, followed by Kurenai. He pulled out the keys and opened the door. The voices of Aya and the girl reached them, followed by a song in the background. They both looked into the living room and saw Mirai sitting in the woman's lap, watching cartoons on TV, screaming the words of the song, while Aya was laughing trying to learn the refrain. Shikaku knocked on the door jamb and the two of them swung around. As soon as the little girl saw her mother, she slipped off the sofa, jumping into her arms with a big smile. Shikaku introduced the two women, after which Kurenai thanked both of them, picking the backpack and heading home.  
Shikaku slumped onto the sofa with a long sigh:  
"What a day!"  
"Yeah"  
"Thanks for taking care of Mirai, I hope she didn't cause you problems"  
"No, she is a very sweet girl "  
"What can I do to repay you?"  
"Mmm ... how about getting a hot bath and joining me with a back massage?"  
"Yes, my lady!" exclaimed the man, heading towards the bathroom and starting to fill the bathtub.

They were both sitting in the bathtub. Shikaku took place behind the woman; he was lathering her back, moving his large hands in circle and applying light pressure.  
"You are good with children" he said moving to massage her neck.  
“I wouldn't be so sure of that. Actually, it was the first time I spent time alone with a child" she said, leaning her back against the man's chest.  
"I'm sure you will be an excellent mother" said Shikaku, leaving a sweet kiss on the cheek. At that words, he immediately felt her stiffen under him and saw her expression change.  
"Did I say something wrong?" he hastened to add.  
“No, nothing, it's just that I don't think I can be a good mother. But I doubt I'll ever know, since I'm not going to have children"  
"You are still so young, you have plenty of time to think about it and change your mind"  
"I don't think so" cut the girl short, wanting to change the subject, but Shikaku did not allow it, taking the floor:   
"You know you can talk to me, don't you? From how you say you don't want children and you don't deserve love, I can't help thinking that you had a difficult past, which you confirmed to me. But if you ever wanted to talk to me, just know that I'll listen to you, I'm not here to judge"   
"Thanks, but I don't want to talk about it, I have committed actions that I am not proud of at all and the only thing I would like to do is forget, but I cannot, because every time things seem to go a little better, here is my past come back to haunt me with nightmares" she poured out.  
Shikaku held her closer to him, he knew what she was talking about, he himself had witnessed her nightmares a few times. She wriggled between the sheets in the middle of the night, her heart beating wildly, sweating and trembling at the same time. Then she woke up screaming. He had tried to calm her down, the two times that had happened, but she had simply turned away and turned her back on him, spending the rest of the night with heavy breathing, unable to sleep.   
"Okay, I don't insist. Just know that sometimes talking to someone can help, it doesn't have to be me, but in case you need it, I'm here for you"   
The girl nodded, getting up and taking a towel to cover herself, leaving the room.


	7. Chapter 7

The following morning Shikaku left the house very early, without even waking up his partner, who was still sleeping in his bed. He had left her a note in the kitchen saying that he would stay at work late to deal with the dam issue.  
Arriving at the Hokage palace, he found some members of his clan who greeted him. One of them reported that an extraordinary clan meeting had been organized for that evening and they would all meet in the tea room inside their immense estate. Nobody specified the agenda and Shikaku was too busy to waste any more time.  
He also met Shikamaru that afternoon, who informed him of Ensui's presence the night before. The man then put two and two together: Ensui had certainly reported to the other family heads what he had heard the night before and now a meeting had been scheduled to talk about it. The ninja snorted loudly as he got to work.  
‘Mendokusai!' He thought to himself.  
Theirs was one of the most prominent clans of the entire village and the sentimental life of the chief clan was of close concern, given that a possible marriage could have established advantageous relationships with other clans, but could also have led to disputes with others. When he dated Yoshino, he introduced the girl to his father, who immediately collected information on her past. Then it was discussed with the other clan members who had approved their relationship, giving permission for a possible marriage. But now, that was not the same situation: his relationship with Aya was not official, and there wasn’t the marriage matter to discuss about. He promised himself to explain the situation to the other clan members that evening, and went back to work.

Aya woke up around 8 in the morning and looked around not feeling the presence of the ninja. Then she went down to the kitchen and while preparing the coffee she read the note on the table.  
After getting ready she left the house and headed for work. She walked slowly through the streets of Konoha, thinking about the conversation they had had the night before. She had been almost about to tell Shikaku everything, but now she felt relieved knowing she hadn't. She dared not imagine how he could react. What would she have done if he never wanted to see her again? She could not imagine her days without him, by now his presence was so fixed and taken for granted in the life of the girl. Aya seemed to realize it for the first time, frightening at the thought. She couldn't afford to tie herself to someone in that way, but she felt it was too late in this case. She tried to ignore the accelerated beat of her heart and that little voice in the background that shouted 'you fell in love with him, you stupid little girl!'.  
She went into the office and started the day with a lump in her throat.

That week had been particularly busy, Aya had completely immersed herself in the work, accepting various assignments that kept her busy until late at night.  
‘Things are getting complicated and I always react by running away’ she thought, afflicted.  
She hated herself and cursed herself for her stupidity. Her behavior was not at all fair to Shikaku, he had no fault, she had to admit it.  
Friday had come quickly. Aya had just returned home late at night. She placed the bag at the entrance and took off her overcoat. She drank a glass of water in large gulps, then she grabbed the hairbrush from the bathroom and sat on the sofa untying her long hair and starting to brush them.  
Her gaze wandered around the room and, when she stopped to look out the window, she jumped in fright and uttered a high-pitched cry of surprise: Shikaku was staring at her from outside the closed window.  
The girl took a few seconds to compose herself, then stood up heading for the window and opening it. Shikaku asked circumspectly:  
"Can I come in?"  
"Hurry up before someone sees you perched on the tree"  
She moved away, giving him space to enter and closed the window behind him.  
The two stared at each other for a long time and the atmosphere suddenly seemed to be heavy. Shikaku then spoke:  
“I haven't heard from you the whole week; I've come here several times at different times of the day but nothing. I was starting to worry"  
“I had a lot of work to do. I spent the evenings in the editorial archives cataloging a flood of magazines and collecting material for the new work of an author I deal with" the woman calmly justified herself. However, the atmosphere had not changed and Shikaku was starting to feel out of place.  
"You want me to go?" he ventured then. Aya shook her head staring at the floor, whereupon the ninja took her hand and led her to sit on the sofa, gave her a soft kiss on the lips. Soon after he grabbed the hairbrush, abandoned on one of the pillows, and gently began to brush her hair.  
After endless minutes of silence, the man put down her brush, getting up and going towards the door, grabbed the handle and turned to look at the woman.  
"See you maybe tomorrow, if you have free times. I should talk to you about one thing, nothing urgent. Goodnight” said this he left the house, leaving Aya to her solitude.

It was Sunday morning, Aya had had no news from Shikaku the previous day, so she gathered all her determination and went to the ninja's home. She knew the man's habits and was sure that she would find him sitting on the veranda, so she surrounded the house by entering through the back door of the courtyard. A slight creak rose in the air, due to the old hinges, which captured Shikaku's attention.  
"Hey" he whispered looking at her, to which Aya replied with a wave of the hand, taking a seat next to him.  
"Did you want to talk to me about something?" she asked looking ahead.  
Shikaku took a long sigh and opted to explain everything in detail:  
“It's an internal affair of the Nara clan. I don't expect you to know how things work within the major Konoha clans, so I'll explain it briefly: at the head of the group there is a group leader, in this case me, followed by the so-called sages, i.e. the older members of the various families that make up the clan. They are followed by the others and so on till the youngest. Although I may consider myself the leader, I certainly do not have absolute power within the clan, decisions are made on a democratic basis, with votes. I can influence a decision enough if I impose myself, and I have greater decision-making power in emergency circumstances, however my main task is to safeguard the clan and prevent conflicts from arising inside it”  
"Okay ... thanks for the lesson, but I don't understand where this is going" said Aya perplexed.  
"The matter is the following: recently a dispute has arisen within the clan and I find myself in the middle with my hands tied"  
Aya looked at him questioningly, so he explained himself better:  
"The clan has find out of your existence" he said staring at her, whereupon she rolled her eyes, making a loud snort.  
"And this would be such a big problem?"  
"It wouldn't be if I weren't the head of one of the most important clan in the village..." he left the sentence open, unsure of how to proceed.  
"Tell me what happened" the girl prayed.  
“Okay. Few days ago, they called a meeting to get more information. At first I didn't think it was a big problem, on the other hand the same had happened when I started dating Yoshino and, I don't think I told you, but the members of the main family must obtain unanimous approval from the clan to get married”  
At those words Aya raised an eyebrow, skeptical:  
"I would say this is not our case"  
"I know. But they asked the details about our meeting and about you, and I could not escape the request. After hearing what I said they drew their conclusions. Many clan members suspect that you may have second intentions and they have supported their thesis with the following facts. First: it was you who approached me. Second: you are much younger than me and you are beautiful, you could have any man by your side but you have chosen me. Finally, you are very intelligent. They fear you may be looking for information on behalf of third parties that could be used against our clan or our village"  
Aya looked at him shocked. She didn't know what to say. She was absolutely not a spy, nor did she work for anyone and she had never had ulterior motives with Shikaku. The fact that he had exposed this fact calmly and colorless filled her with anger. Could it be that he let himself be persuaded by the members of his clan and gave reason to them? Her temples began to throb.  
"Are you saying that someone is paying me to sleep with you to push you to reveal important information?" she got up from the chair approaching threateningly to the man, continuing:  
"Are you saying that I am bitch?!" she screamed at him.  
Shikaku got blind-sided by her sudden anger and got up in turn from the chair:  
“Calm down, I don't think any of this! Others clan members have ventured these hypotheses, but both Shikamaru and I have defended you! I know they are wrong"  
"Look me in the eye and assure me that you didn't think, even for a moment, that they could be right, even in the slightest part"  
"Aya, calm down, I can assure you" he said holding her stare and trying to bring her closer.  
But the woman broke free and with a quick "I need to think" she left, slamming the gate.

Shikaku had the morale on the floor, he imagined that the girl would blame him, but did not think up to this point. He had convinced himself that by talking to her openly things would settle down, he would introduce her to his clan and they would ascertain that she had nothing to hide. Because he was sure: Aya was not working behind his back.  
Feeling the walls of the house suffocating him, he went out into the streets of the village, heading for Inoichi's house. They also called Choza and went to the bar and, sipping one beer after another, the genius let off steam with his friends.  
"Dude, I don't envy you at all" Choza mumbled. Shikaku sighed heartily, when Inoichi took him by the shoulders forcing the genius to look at him:  
"There is only one thing to do here: get a bouquet of flowers and run to her!" he shouted exalted.  
"Well, I don't think it's the best thing, she said she wanted to reflect, it's right that I leave her some space"  
“It's almost evening now, don't you think you've left her enough time? You can't just sit back!" the blond pressed him again.  
The shinobi reflected on his friend's words. Perhaps he was right. The more he thought about it, the more he convinced himself that if he let things run their course the situation could get out of hand, ruining anything he had with that girl. And no, he then admitted it to himself for the first time, he wasn't ready to give up on her at all.  
He dragged his tipsy friends out of the bar, forcing Inoichi to open the shop and pack him a bouquet of flowers, then he headed to Aya's home.

Aya had spent most of the day walking slowly through the back streets of Konoha, trying to avoid the crowd and thinking about that conversation. She didn't want to admit it, but that discussion had hurt her more than expected. On one hand she was aware that the shinobi had no fault, on the other she felt obliged to assert her reasons.  
That evening she was tidying up work materials trying to distract herself from those thoughts, when she heard a frantic knock on the door. Opening it she found in front of her Shikaku, with a short breath and a bouquet of white and pink lilies in his hand. She looked at the flowers and a slight smile appeared on the girl's face; their previous discussion lost in the background. Shikaku knew she would understand: the day they met the girl wore a blouse with the exact same flowers that he was now holding in his hand. He get close to her, whispered in her ear:  
"I never thought, even for a moment, that they could be right even in the slightest part"  
Those words generated another slight and sweet smile on the girl's lips, Aya couldn't help but hugging him, inviting him to come in. Then she took the flowers arranging them in a vase that she placed on the kitchen counter. She took the man by the hand and dragged him into the bedroom, jumping on him. Shikaku had a flashback, he returned with his mind to the evening when he had sex with the girl for the first time. But at that moment he was distracted by her hands, taking off his clothes one by one, then desperately sneaking into the boxers. Lost by excitement, he dismissed the thought, allowing to abandon himself to that moment and the pleasure that followed.


	8. Chapter 8

  
  


Shikaku left the following morning, reassuring the girl that he would try to fix things at the next clan meeting.  
That evening Aya was returning home when, coming out of the supermarket, she came across Shikamaru. The boy offered to help her carry the shopping bags home, then, thinking it was an excellent opportunity to introduce Aya to his friends, he invited her to the meeting that would be held the following evening. The anniversary of the collaboration between Konoha and Suna was celebrated and, given that there would also be the Kazekage, they had organized a refreshment at the Hokage palace open to anyone.  
If she had to be totally sincere, the thinking of knowing people related to Shikaku and Shikamaru, in that precise situation, made her a little uncomfortable, but by now basically everyone knew about their relationship and she was actually curious to meet Shikaku’s friends. So, at Shikamaru's insistence she accepted.  
  


  
It was the evening of the celebrations. Shikamaru, who had offered to pick Aya up, knocked on the door.  
"I am ready!" exclaimed the girl, taking her purse and closing the door. The boy, who for that occasion wore an elegant dark blue smoking, took a few seconds to observe her. She was wearing a long, tight-fitting white dress, adorned with golden embroidery. The dress completely wrapped her around, highlighting her prosperous breasts and firm butt. It had long sleeves, the lower part reached up to the ankles and the left side had a tear that started from the thigh showing most of the leg, ending in dizzying golden heels.  
"You're alone?" Aya asked, distracting him from his thoughts.  
"Yes, dad is already there and Temari will arrive later with her brothers" he hurried to explain; he swallowed silently, moving his gaze away from her figure and preceded her, leading the way.

  
When they arrived at the Hokage palace, most of the guests had yet not arrived. At the end of the room they saw Shikaku, also elegantly dressed, who conversed quietly with some men. Judging by the hairstyles and similar face features they had to be part of the same clan. She mentally cursed herself; she hadn't thought she might run into them! She was about to run away when Shikaku approached them with surprised expression looking first at her and then at Shikamaru. The girl in turn looked at the young ninja realizing only then:   
"Shikamaru! You didn't you tell him you invited me too!" It wasn’t a question.   
The boy scratched the back of his neck with an embarrassed smile, trying to slip away, as more and more people entered the room.  
With the corner of the eye she saw the Nara group approaching haughtily and the blood began to boil in her veins, so, without thinking about the words to choose, she spoke:   
“Good evening gentlemen, I introduce myself, I am Aya. And you must be the ones who called me bitch” she said, smiling forcefully.   
"Nice to meet you" she added, widening, if possible, even more the artificial smile.  
After the initial shock, the oldest of the group took a step forward and defiantly said:   
"Do you confirm that we were right?"   
"It depends" the woman replied with a glacial grin, adding immediately after "How much are you willing to pay me?" she broke into a loud laugh when Shikaku grabbed her arm, apologized to those present and started with the girl out of the lounge. Those still stunned after the unusual scene.   
"What the hell are you thinking?!" Shikaku shouted at Aya, after taking her to a secluded storage room.   
The woman, with glacial calmness, held his gaze, not at all intimidated or repentant, crossing her arms over her chest.  
“Shikaku, I've spent my whole life running away, but now that's enough. If anyone wants to say something like that, I will not be silent to watch, I will make him regret having opened his mouth" she said firmly.   
"I don't think it's the right strategy in this situation" the man replied piqued.   
The two continued to stare at each other undaunted. After few moments Shikaku let out a long sigh, approaching the girl and resting his forehead on her, grabbing her hands.   
“I am deeply convinced that you have no bad intention and they had no right to make that kind of accusations. I'm sorry to have put you in this situation, however I ask you to not act rashly, being driven by anger"   
At those words the girl lowered her defenses, touching the ninja's cheek and giving him a long and passionate kiss.   
“It's not your fault, and I'm sorry if I reacted like that. I should have thought more about my actions. In general, I don't let myself be touched by people's insults, I let them rolling off my back as if nothing had happened and I continue on my way. Unfortunately, this time they hit a nerve"  
Shikaku was listening carefully and she continued:   
“I never talked to anyone about it but my mother was a prostitute. I grew up in that environment. Everything I carry around ... that was the origin of everything that's wrong with me"   
She brought her arms to her chest, squeezing them tightly. Shikaku put his hands firmly on her shoulders.   
"Is everything alright. There is nothing wrong with you" he said pressing a kiss on her forehead and then inviting her to follow him.   
“Come on, let's go back there. I want to introduce you to my friends"

After that episode, the evening had passed quietly. The clan members had kept them away from Aya and Shikaku had introduced her to Inoichi and Choza and to their children. Shikamaru had introduced her to Temari, who had joined them later. She also had occasion to meet Naruto, Hinata and some other jonin. Lastly, she had exchanged a few words with the Hokage, after he had approached to ask Shikaku for clarifications on a question left open that afternoon.  
The situation had become much more relaxed and the friends of the two Naras had welcomed Aya with open arms, relieving any tension previously accumulated. For those present, seeing the man and the woman nearby caused a slight sensation of strangeness, but one could easily understand that there was a certain harmony between the two. Seen from the outside, without knowing the precedents, they could even seem a nice couple.

  
Days passed, Shikaku and his son took part in a new clan meeting, where the older ones were outraged by the girl's behavior at the party. However, they had to admit that they had carried out secret research on Aya’s past and had found nothing suspicious. This bothered them a lot: if they had found even the slightest hint of suspicion to cling to, thanks to the scene she made that evening, they could have insisted that Shikaku interrupt their relationships and he could not have opposed it without creating precedents inside the clan. However, they told Shikaku about a rather curious fact, which raised some doubts in them: from 10 years onwards Aya's life was well documented although not easily available, but they had not been able to find anything prior to that date.   
"It's as if the first ten years of her life don't exist" Ensui commented.  
Shikaku was bothered by the fact that his family members had decided to investigate the person he was dating keeping him in the dark, but then reflected on the last matter that had been revealed to him. He decided, knowing also Aya, that the best thing to do was to face the girl and talking to her openly. So, he ended the meeting, relieved not to have been forced by the clan to leave the woman.

  
When Shikaku reached Aya and explained the facts, asking her in a silent question at least a vague explanation of the matter, the girl felt her back to the wall. She took a few minutes to reflect on what to do, and panic took hold of her. The ninja couldn't help but notice it, so he took her by the hand, whispering that it would be all right. The security, but above all the sweetness, with which he pronounced those words, convinced her to face the question by making a run for it. She therefore asked the man to call a clan meeting again, in which she would take part explaining the reason for that hole in the first ten years of her life. She sighed afflicted, hoping that in this way things would be definitively resolved.


	9. Chapter 9

  
It was late in the evening; they were all in the dining room of Ensui's parents. They had chosen that as meeting place because it was exactly in the middle of the neighborhood occupied by the Nara families, making it the most convenient location for everyone to reach. On one side of the spacious room were the members of the clan, most of them standing, staring at the other side of the room that was occupied by Shikaku and his son. On the clan head’s right was the reason for their hard looks, namely Aya.   
Shikaku then spoke firmly:   
"I talked to Aya about the issue you raised today and she asked me to get together to talk to you openly, hoping to be able to dispel all your doubts about her" then he turned, giving a slight encouraging smile to the girl.   
She took a seat on the bench next to the two shinobi, beginning to speak in total silence of those present: "Thanks for coming, I apologize for the late hour and I apologize for the scene of the other day, I shouldn't have reacted like that. Shikaku told me that you investigated my past and, since there is no information in the period from my birth to my ten years, you are suspicious about me. I'm here to explain the reason why the first ten years of my life do not exist on paper" she paused for a moment, holding the gaze of those present, then began the story.   
"I was born in a small town on the border between the Earth and the Wind country. My mother was a prostitute and I never met my father, surely one of his countless clients"   
At that words a snort rose from the back of the room, Shikaku addressed them a grim look and he was about to say something, but he was interrupted by the voice of the girl who was continuing the narration like nothing happened.   
“We lived in a crumbling condominium and most of the apartment were occupied by women who did the same job as my mother”  
“Basically a brothel” someone in the group interrupted her, but she kept calm.  
“Yes, and not just any, but the best known in the city. Being on the trade route between the countries of the Earth and the Wind, it was very busy and customers were not lacking. Usually women that do that kind of job took precautions, but my mother has always been the kind of person that do stuff without worrying about consequents, and…here I am. She had several mental problems, she used to drink every day from early in the morning. She also often used drugs. And she was violent, with everyone, but most of all with me. She used to tell me that I ruined her life, everything happen to her was somehow my fault. I can’t count how many times she told me that it would have been better if I was never born. And after that, like every time she had the chance, she beat me… a few times she beat me so hard that I lost consciousness for several hours”  
All those present listened to her in silence, their eyes had lost the hardness of just before. The girl continued:  
“From this situation you can understand why you have not been able to find any birth certificate: my mother never cared to register my birth, and no one else cared about a child who lived in such an environment. And no, you won't even find any school certificate because up to ten years I never went to school, I wasn't even allowed to leave the building" she looked up, staring the oldest of the Nara group, on the opposite side of the room.  
Ensui took a step forward, clearing his throat and asking:  
“The first document we have is a school certificate in the region of the Wind. You said you couldn’t go to school before you were ten years old, what happened after? Your mother changed her mind?”  
Aya stared at her feet, biting her lips forcefully.  
“No” she answered in a whisper.  
“What happened, then?”  
“I run away” she said watching Ensui defiantly. She knew they wanted an explanation, so she took a few seconds to choose carefully the words. Then, with an expression full of bitterness she clarified:  
“My mother could have abandoned me on the street or given me up for adoption, but she didn't. It was convenient for her to have someone to take care of the house and to unload herself during her hysterical crises. However, when I was ten, she realized that I could be useful to her in another way, and that was the reason way I run away from that place” she sighed briefly, closing her eyes. A lonely tear ran down the girl's cheek. Shikaku could only be surprised, even in sadness, the girl had never shown herself crying before him. He gently caressed her arm, giving her courage.  
“My mother thought that she could increase her earnings by selling not only her body, but also mine. She…she found a man willing to pay quite a large sum of money. So, she organized the meeting without telling me what was going to happened, but I wasn’t stupid. When she dragged me in her bedroom and I saw that man I knew what she had in mind” Shikaku had taken her hand and squeezed it, he was about to say something, when Aya pulled it away and kept talking.  
“I panicked, I disentangled myself from my mother's grip and I left the apartment running down the stairs as fast as I could. I hid myself in the basement and I spent there almost three days. When the hunger was intolerable, I decided to come back at the apartment. From the outside I didn’t hear any noise, so I entered and my mother wasn’t there. I packed my few stuff, I took the money I found and I left that house without looking back. It was difficult at first, but slowly I managed to start a new life: I enrolled in school, I found a place to rent, I found a job to support myself ... I moved several times, in various villages and countries. Then, few months ago, I found out about a job offer here, so I applied, got the job and moved to this village. I assure you, I have no bad intention, really. I simply feel comfortable with Shikaku. When I am with him, I feel calm" she spoke the last two sentences with a whisper, lowering her gaze as she tried to wipe her tears.   
None of those present had yet uttered a word, still shaken by the girl's story. Then Shikaku got up, followed by his son, who gently placed a hand on Aya's shoulder.   
“Okay, this is enough. I hope you are satisfied with the explanations. Now we're leaving” and so saying the clan head grabbed gently Aya’s hand and led her home, closely followed by Shikamaru, while those present made no objection. The young ninja casted an apprehensive glance at the girl, whose gaze was lost in the void. But after his dad reassured him that he would take care of her and took her to his house, he came back at his apartment.

  
Shikaku didn’t know how to behave on that occasion. After the girl's story, there was certainly a lot to think about, however, at that precise moment, he had absolutely no time. He entered his bedroom with a cup of steaming chamomile in his hand, which he placed on the bedside table next to the girl.   
He watched her for a long time, sitting next to her. Her back was resting on the head of the bed, she had brought her knees to her chest and squeezed them tightly, hiding her face between them. At that moment she seemed so small and fragile that the shinobi was almost afraid to touch her.   
He took a deep breath and he gently caressed her palm trying to attract her attention. After a few seconds, which seemed hours, she raised her head slightly, looking at the man.   
“You were very brave today. Thanks for doing it, and I’m sorry if we forced you up to this point" Shikaku said.  
Aya looked away, trying to dry her tears nervously. Then with a faint lament she said the man's name, clinging desperately to the sleeve of his sweater.   
"There is one thing I haven't said" she admitted painfully. Shikaku at first seemed perplexed, then remained silent, tacitly inviting the girl to continue.   
"All I have told you is the truth, except for one thing" her liquid eyes fixed those of the man, and he could very well imagine the pain of the woman in pronouncing the words that followed.  
“When I got home, while I was collecting my things, my mother came home unexpectedly”  
Shikaku didn't know what to say, so he opted for the smartest solution: to shut up. Aya, who had never told that story to anyone, was surprised at how, after starting, despite the stabbing excruciating pain, she could no longer stop. The ninja's silence paradoxically gave her the courage to continue the story.  
“I…killed her” she whispered in one breath, starting to cry again.  
At those words, Shikaku's gaze snapped alarmed at her, unable to imagine what else could have happened. She collected as much oxygen as possible, trying to repress her emotions.  
“When she found me in the apartment, collecting my stuff, she lost her mind. She was furious. She started insulting me, telling me how I ruined everything with that man and how she lost the money he promised her. She grabbed me, but I broke free and ran into the kitchen. She ran after me, threw herself against me, making me bump into the table and then I fell to the ground. She pounced on me and put her hands tightly around my throat. Her grip was so strong that I couldn't break free. I really thought I was going to die. I was about to give up, when I noticed that during the scuffle some ladles had fallen next to me and there was also a large knife between them, so I grabbed it. I tried to free myself from her grasp by sticking the knife into her arm, but she was so out of her mind that she didn't seem to notice it. I tried again but nothing. My vision was getting darker, so I did the only thing that seemed possible to me: I pulled the knife out from his arm and stabbed her in the throat. The blood began to flow everywhere above me, I felt her grip slow down, until I could breathe again. Then she fell dead on me, crushing me under her in a lake of blood"   
The girl's body began to tremble, recalling that scene in her mind. Gagging shook her, forcing her to change position.   
“After I managed to disentangled me from her body, I cleaned myself up, collected my things and money and run away from that hell. The nightmares I have at night ... are about this. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, I was afraid you didn't want to have anything more to do with me if you had known about it. And now you can also understand why I don’t want to have kids. How can a person that killed his own mother be able to raise a child?"   
She abandoned herself to a liberating cry, continuing to ask for forgiveness as in a lullaby. Shikaku wasn't sure those words were meant entirely for him. He sat down next to her, lifted her weight off and carrying her on his lap. He squeezed her with all his strength whispering to calm down, until she fell asleep exhausted and still shaken by sobs.  
  
  
  


When Aya woke up, it was still late at night, her head pounding annoyingly, she looked around slightly confused. Then, like a lightning bolt, she suddenly remembered what had happened earlier. At that moment Shikaku entered the room, their eyes met and he smiled faintly at her. Aya touched her temple with her hand, making him guess that something was wrong.  
"Are you okay?" he asked alarmed.  
"Just a headache" the girl whispered. She wasn't sure if she should add anything else about their previous conversation, but the man thought to dispel his doubts by taking the floor:   
"About before, don't worry, it will stay between the two of us"  
"I understand if you don't want to deal with me anymore" she said, torturing her hands.  
"Hey, look at me" Shikaku whispered, lifting her head and continuing:   
"I never thought such a thing even for a second. You were a child, you were in a difficult situation, and you did what you could. Plus, all your guilt just shows how sensitive you really are. You are not a bad person, and I will not leave you alone. And I’m also sure that what happened won’t affect you becoming a parent. Because you are a wonderful, intelligent, sweet and loving person. You understand where your mother made mistakes and you will not do the same. I’m sure you won’t”  
Those words had the effect of completely lowering the Aya's defenses. All her life she had been looking for something and now, at that precise moment, with that lazy and ingenious ninja in front of her, she could not help realizing that she had found it: acceptance, someone who would soothe her solitude and on whom she could rely on.  
"I love you" Aya whispered, crying and throwing herself at the ninja's neck who, at first surprised, welcomed her in a sweet and warm embrace, then she fell again into a deep sleep.   
Both would have had ample time to realize what that statement implied.


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning, they woke up and ate breakfast together. After that, everyone went to work. Shikaku didn't mention anything about the last sentence that had come out of Aya's mouth the night before. She did the same, trying to ignore the sense of embarrassment and terror at the thought of having ruined everything with that damned sentence, that could have been spared, but which at the same time had come out so naturally from her lips.  
The woman walked quickly through the short distance that separated her from the publishing house, mulling over all this until her headache came back again, but reaching only one conclusion: the best thing was to tell the truth and speak openly with the man, as they always did.  
For his part, the ninja, already in his office, stared at the documents in front of him without seeing the words, lost in his own thoughts. He didn't expect Aya to say that, and it took him totally by surprise. He wasn't sure that the silence of that morning had been a good move, but what else could he do? He had to put his thoughts in order and decide how the situation between the two of them would evolve.  
A cough distracted him from his thoughts: the Hokage, sitting next to him along with four other jonin, called his attention. The meeting had been going on for about a quarter of an hour, yet the genius had not paid attention to a single word. He apologized to the Hokage for his distraction, picking up the documents and starting to speak.  
When the meeting ended and the others present were gone, Kakashi spent a few more minutes in the office.  
"Everything okay?" he asked, looking at Shikaku.  
"Yes, sorry about before, I only have a few thoughts on my mind" he admitted, scratching the back of his neck.  
"Whatever it is you should solve it, I need my strategist to the full of his faculties" the Hokage admonished him, softening the sentence with a slight smile and leaving the room shortly after.

  
When he returned home that evening, he found Aya waiting for him outside the entrance.  
"Hi" she greeted him.  
He nodded by opening the door and inviting her to enter. However, the girl didn’t follow him, merely speaking:  
“I don't have time to stop tonight. There was an accident at work, a colleague fell ill and, since she was due to leave for the Cloud village tomorrow to present a book at a conference, they asked me to replace her. I will leave early tomorrow and return on Friday night"  
"Okay, good job then. See you in the weekend" Shikaku said, giving her a light kiss on the forehead.  
"Listen, before I leave, we have to talk ..." Aya left the sentence hanging and the ninja sighed in distress.  
He did not feel ready to face the topic at the moment, however he could not even escape the will of the woman. He was about to reply when she interrupted him with a gesture of the hand, gathered courage and continued:  
“You don't need to say anything, I just want you to listen to me. I will be concise and direct: the sentence I said yesterday ran away from my mouth without me being able to avoid it, but I don't want you to think it is something that I said lightly. After all these months that I know you and after everything we have been through, although I didn't think it would ever happen to me, I can assure you that it's true: I love you. However, I am also aware that this could create problems for the bond that you and I have made, so I would like you to take some time to reflect about it while I am away. Saturday you will tell me what you want to do. I know it's a delicate situation, I don't want to create problems for anyone. Whatever will be your decision, no matter how it hurts, I will accept it "  
Having said that, she gave a quick kiss to Shikaku’s lips, who had not yet said a word, turned and walked home quickly, hoping that the man had not noticed her watery eyes. If the ninja hadn't felt like starting a serious relationship with her still thinking about his wife, Saturday would have been the last day they would have spent time together. She picked up the pace trying to not think about it.

"Dad, what the hell is going on?" Shikamaru had drawn his father's attention with that phrase.  
It was two days now that the young ninja found him in his office staring at the void. Not to mention yesterday, when at a meeting Kotetsu asked him for clarifications on a document and he had continued undaunted to stare at the desk, so Shikamaru was forced to give him a tap on the shoulder to get him out of that trance.  
"What?" Shikaku asked bewildered. 'Here it is again!' Shikamaru thought.  
"I'd like to know what's going on in your head these days" he admitted impatiently.  
"Nothing"  
"Dad" the look that the young man gave to his father pierced him, so he felt compelled to admit:  
"Don't worry, I'm reflecting on something, but I don't think you're the most suitable person to talk to about it"  
Shikamaru understood immediately:  
"Is it about Aya?"  
His father nodded reluctantly, looking down at the documents and pretending to be busy.  
"Listen" Shikamaru approached him, closing the file that the old ninja was reading and continued:  
"I never thought you and I would ever find ourselves in such a situation, but now things are like this. I know you don't want me to worry or hurt my feelings about mom, but if there is any problem with Aya and you think that talking about it can help you, then I am here to listen to you"  
Shikaku was touched by those words, placing a hand on his son's shoulder and smiling with gratitude. So, he decided to talk to him about what was afflicting him.  
"Okay, I'm going to tell you, but promise me that if the speech starts to make you somehow uncomfortable you will tell me and we will stop talking about it"  
Shikamaru nodded and went to sit on the chair on the other side of his father's desk, so he continued:  
“Aya is now out of the village on business travel. She comes back tomorrow evening. Before leaving, two days ago, she said she loves me" he paused for a moment, staring at his son, who had stiffened slightly at that phrase. Unsure he continued:  
"She told me to reflect on her words while she is away and once she returns, let her know what I want to do about it ..."  
"And what do you want to do?" Shikamaru asked hesitant, continuing cautiously "Do you love her?"  
"It's not that simple... You know, when I was your age, I thought that finding a person to love and who loved me in turn would have been the most difficult things of all. Then I met your mother and I felt the luckiest man in this world. If now I think that life is offering me not one, but a second person with whom to establish such a bond, I find it absurd. After giving Yoshino so much love, I don't think I have enough for a new story and this wouldn't be fair to Aya's. And I also can't help but think about how you could react to this situation, I wouldn't want you to think that I have forgotten your mother or that I’m dishonoring her memory to run after a younger girl"  
Shikamaru interrupted him at those words:  
"Dad, listen to me. First thing: I admit I thought this the very first time you told me about Aya, but I immediately regretted it and after knowing more and meeting her, I accepted the situation. She is a good person and makes you happy, that's clear. I know that the memory of mom will always remain with us and we will always love her in the same way, but it is not wrong for me and for you to continue with our lives. If we refused to do it, it would be the worst injustice we could do against her. Second thing: the question isn’t whether you love Aya or not, from what you just said you have never considered what would happen if you said you don't love her, but you have based all your considerations starting from the fact that you love her. You can't lie to yourself; you just have to find the courage to take the step. Third point: you don't have to worry about me, if you are happy, I am too"  
Shikaku listened attentively to his son pondering his reasoning that, indeed, was flawless. He took a few minutes of silence, suddenly realizing to have found a solution, then finally decided to speak:  
"Thanks Shikamaru, I think I have found my answers" he said with a smile. After that, father and son returned to their respective duties.

It was eleven-thirty on Friday night and Aya was returning after the demanding business trip. Fortunately, in those days she had been so busy that she hadn't had time to think about her sentimental problems, but as she got closer to home, she began to felt the agitation and impatience. She was walking down the tree-lined avenue leading to the apartment building where she lived when, seated on a bench on the side of the road, she recognized an unmistakable figure. Her heart began to beat wildly as she approached, greeting the ninja with a wave of her hand.  
"Welcome back. Did the trip go well?” Shikaku asked.  
"Yes, thank you, I'm surprised to find you here at this hour, I thought we would see each other tomorrow" Aya said, while the ninja took her suitcase heading towards the apartment.  
“Sorry if I get it here now, you must be tired. But I have the answer to your question and I couldn't wait until tomorrow to tell you about it" he said impatiently as the girl nervously opened the front door and they both entered. Now they were in the living room, Shikaku invited Aya to sit on the sofa and then sat down next to her starting to speak:  
"Before you can say anything I want you to hear till I finish" at her nod he took a deep breath and continued:  
“I thought about it a lot, not because my feelings towards you were not clear to me, rather what gave me a lot to think about was how to be able to love you without making you miss anything and without making you feel the weight of my late wife. You know, I talked about it with Shikamaru" at those words Aya's pupils dilated slightly in surprise, but remembering the ninja's request, she continued to listen to him without interrupting.  
“As I was saying, what gave me a lot to think about these days was understanding how to be able to love you without making you feel in the background compared to Yoshino and her memory. I thought that, since I loved her so much, I wasn't able to give you the same amount of love, thus disrespecting you. Then, after talking about it with my son, I finally realized a fundamental thing: dividing my love between two people, two magnificent and incredible women, does not mean halving it but rather, it means multiplying it. As when you are a child and your parents give you a little brother, this doesn’t mean that half of the love they feel for you will now be directed towards that new life, it means that they will expand their love, so as to love the new born as much as they love you. And I can do it. I am convinced that I am able to love you and make you happy" he took a short pause to fix his gaze on the surprised girl and then concluded:  
"So, Aya, I love you too and I want to be with you"  
At those words the woman felt her heart burst in her chest, she put a hand to her mouth, still unable to believe what the man had just told her. Right after she burst into a liberating cry, where tears of joy came down to wet her face. The man hugged her, stroking her back and trapping his lips immediately after in a long kiss. At that moment Aya just wanted to make love with Shikaku and from the passionate kiss they were exchanging she could deduce how the man also had similar intentions. However, after the return trip she was looking forward to taking a shower to refresh her and thus proposed to the ninja to join her for a relaxing bath.  
  


Shikaku filled the tub with warm water, added bath salts and drops of lavender essential oil to it. He immersed himself in the water, relaxing against the back of the tub. Soon after, the girl joined him. She chained her gaze to that of the man and began, slowly and sensually, to take off her clothes one by one. He did not miss a move, enjoying the show and grabbing the bra that the girl had taken off and jokingly throwing it at him. After taking off her panties too, being careful to sensually show a generous portion of her butt, she immersed herself in the tub, sitting in front of the ninja and leaning her back against him. At that contact he immediately grabbed her hips, carefully testing the consistency and going to cover her neck with small kisses. She flattened herself even more against him, going to touch with his lower back the man's penis, that began to awaken to those attentions. One of the ninja's hands went upwards, going to cup one of the breasts, and immediately afterwards his fingers went to tease her nipple. The other hand paused for a few moments on his flat stomach, then sliding further and further down to meet the clitoris. He teased her with his fingers, however continuing the descent and covering the entire circumference of the labia majora, and then gently inserting one of them inside her. At those arousals the woman turned her head back, meeting that of the man until she reached his ear, which she caught in a bite, repressing a moan when Shikaku inserted the second finger into her. He began to move them in a circle, deeper and deeper inside her, while Aya rubbed against the erection of the shinobi, now completely hard. They continued like this for a few minutes and, when the girl seemed now close to the apex, he removed his fingers, ignoring her disapproval. He teased her neck with his tongue, leaving a slight sign of his passage, then detached himself from the edge of the tub, pushing both towards the center.  
"Turn around" he whispered hoarsely into the girl's ear, sending shivers down her spine. She did as request, crouching on the man's lap, bringing their intimacy into contact and starting to rub them slowly between them. Shikaku took a breath, then took the girl's legs and guided them to surround his hips. Immediately afterwards, he lifted her slightly, helping himself with one hand to insert his erection into the warm and humid intimacy of the woman. After both had taken a few seconds to enjoy the moment, the girl leveraged the muscles of her legs, starting to move over the man. The pleasure began to spread, coming out of their mouths in languid moans. They continued to move in sync, one going to meet the thrusts of the other, regardless of the water that overflowed from the tub, wetting the whole floor. They chained their eyes, kissing passionately and when they broke away Shikaku took the lead by increasing the speed and the power of the thrusts, until their sighs were more and more loud and the pleasure more and more intense, leaving little room for reason. When Aya reached orgasm, she let out a liberating moan, then going to kiss the man, who soon after poured into her.  
"I love you" Aya said in shortness of breath.  
"I love you too" he replied kissing her again.


	11. Epilogue

Four years had passed since then.  
Initially their relationship had become one of the major gossip in the village, but with the support of family and friends the two lovers had continued undaunted with their love story.  
Two years earlier Shikamaru had married Temari, taking over as chief clan and moving with his wife to the main residence, occupied until then by his father. Shikaku had moved with Aya to a secondary residence within the Nara lands, and a couple of months later their daughters were born: two very similar twins who, although they were still so young, already showed their father's intelligence shine through the lively eyes, and the grace of the mother, from whom they had taken many of the physical traits.  
Now Aya was with Shikaku, Shikamaru, Temari and their closest friends on the front porch.  
She stared at her two daughters in his father's arms, who celebrated their second year of age by eating the cake she had prepared for the occasion.  
She thought of all the events that had brought her there.  
Shikaku distracted her from that thoughts by calling her with a big smile and inviting her to sit next to them. Aya had never felt happier and loved. The fear of not being able to become a good mother had gone into the background thanks to the closeness of their friends and, above all, to the reassurances and loving attentions that Shikaku gave her every day. There had never been a time when he had not made her feel loved, and she would never have stopped thanking the man from the bottom of her heart for this and for their two daughters, the most beautiful gift born out of their love.  
In the end Shikaku was right: what she had been looking for all these years was nothing but love and he, with all of himself, every single day since they met, had saved her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read the whole story! I hope I have not disappointed your expectations.  
> I found some difficulties in translating from my native language into English, but I tried to write everything as simple as possible. If there are some serious mistake I would be happy if you let me know, so I can correct it.
> 
> I wrote another long ff with Shikamaru and an original female character as protagonists. If you would like to read it, let me know and I will translate it and upload it here.
> 
> XOXO


End file.
